


Cake or Death? Reincarnation Edition

by Tochira



Series: Cake or Death? [2]
Category: Saiyuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Cake, Crack, Gen, Sun Tzu didn't cover the tactical applications of cake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29996175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tochira/pseuds/Tochira
Summary: This was also on my computer, in the same file as its companion. I have no explanation or excuse. Just a lot of sympathy for Kougaiji and Sanzo, who have to put up with this nonsense.
Series: Cake or Death? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206491
Kudos: 2





	Cake or Death? Reincarnation Edition

**Author's Note:**

> This was also on my computer, in the same file as its companion. I have no explanation or excuse. Just a lot of sympathy for Kougaiji and Sanzo, who have to put up with this nonsense.

The two foursomes faced each other across the road, just in front of Jeep. Jeep wisely decided to stay out of it. 

Dokugakuji didn't bother to turn, just shifted his disdainful gaze sideways. "Well, I guess we can give them a choice. Cake or death?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Gojyo squinted. "I must not be sober yet."

Kougaiji tried very hard (without much success) to refrain from smirking. "He asked if you'd rather have cake or death. Simple question, really."

"...What kind of cake?" Trust Goku to ask that one. Sanzo rolled his eyes.

"Hmm, I think it's devil's food today." Goku's eyes lit up.

"Oh, all right then, go on, cake it is." Hakkai wondered if 'cake' was some sort of code word that Gojyo had forgotten to share with them. 

"Okey dokey!" Dokugakuji grinned toothily and tossed a massive slice of chocolate cake in Goku's direction. ( _Apparently not a code,_ Hakkai noted with faint disbelief.) "LIRIN! CAKE!"

"Wait, don't I get a fork or soOOOMPHFUG." It was difficult for Goku to finish his sentence with eighty pounds of wriggly youkai teenager planted squarely on his sternum, stuffing her face with cake.

"New rules of engagement, boys!" Dokugakuji charged straight at Gojyo, who flung up his hands instinctively. His shakujo materialized more by accident than design. Yaone dropped down in front of Sanzo, a flicker of an apologetic smile crossing her face as she took aim. 

Hakkai found himself facing Kougaiji, who just shrugged. "They were getting bored," he explained. 

"Well, it's always healthy to vary one's routine a bit," Hakkai conceded, cupping his hands around a growing ball of energy. "Oh, I don't suppose you made--"

"That cake is _huge_. There's plenty left even for you bottomless pits. Now hurry up, or Lirin and Goku will get bored and go looking for it." Kougaiji eyed the ki ball warily, and dropped into a crouch. 

"All right, then." Hakkai smiled and opened fire.

[SOMETIME LATER.]

"I am so full I can't even stand up." 

"Only because you brought your own entire wet bar to the party."

"Shut up. Lucky that those two passed out, really, I thought they'd eat the whole thing." Gojyo eyed Lirin and Goku, who were snoring away, victims of twin sugar comas.

Hakkai and Sanzo were nursing cups of tea in the shade of a boulder. "Yaone, thank you for the refreshments. I can't remember the last time I had such delicious chocolate cake."

Yaone blushed and glanced at Kougaiji, who was still poking at the remains of his own slice. "That's very kind of you to say. I've never tried this recipe before. But you know Lirin, if it's not nailed down..."

"Ah, how true. Goku's the same, of course."

Gojyo, who was stretched out on the ground with his arms crossed behind his head, looked up at his companions. "Those two really creep me out, you know that? So damn polite and, and... _smiley_ all the time." He turned towards Dokugakuji, who was draped across a neighboring rock. "Am I right?"

Dokugakuji grinned. "You are. But I do think it would be nice to begin more fights with the throwing of food."

"Yeah? How 'bout throwing some liquor?"

"Kou'd probably just set it on fire." 

"Ah, good point." Gojyo rolled over and stared up at the sky, and mused on the finer tactical points of aerial bombardment by dessert.


End file.
